Closer to Free

Closer to Free was the “Party of Five” theme song by the BoDeans. So catchy, so 90’s. “Everybody wants to live, like they wanna live and everybody wants to love, like they wanna love and everybody wants to be closer to free”. You’re bopping your head and humming right now aren’t you? 😉

I used to be a self-help junkie. If there was an inspirational, motivational or uplifting book to be read, I was all over it. Over time I have found some things I’ve read that stuck with me and others weren’t quite as impactful. One of my favorite books/activities was “The Desire Map” by Danielle LaPorte. It was all about figuring out who you are, what makes you light up and then embodying those qualities. I spent my staycation last fall pouring through the book and identifying how I wanted to feel, who I wanted to BE etc. It felt amazing to finally capture all these things on paper.

Well, you’re supposed to run through the goal setting activities a few times a year to make sure your life aligns with your goals and vice versa. Turns out my life got busy and I hadn’t checked in since that afternoon last year. I was surprised how much has changed. On October 19, 2015 I wrote “I wish I felt strong – not just physically (although strong > squishy/fluffy which is how I currently feel, lol) but mentally strong. I am still so emotional, so easily influenced and upset by others. I wish I could toughen up“.  I think I have DEFINITELY toughened up (thanks to some people and some situations acting as “sandpaper” as my friend Michelle describes it). I’m also much stronger and slimmer physically than I was this time last year. Sometimes I take for granted the things I can do (like 3 hours of back to back classes or walking 3 miles at the lake or completing a Chrissy Clawson abs of death series without ACTUALLY dying 😉 ).So, that goal was definitely accomplished on multiple fronts!

The “Core Desired Feelings” I chose last year were:


Sunday afternoon I started redoing the activity, this time in the cutest revamped workbook:


Halfway through I realized what I wanted was to feel free, or at least closer to free. Freedom from debt, freedom from weight, freedom from the limiting beliefs I’ve placed on myself over the years. I’m getting there – slowly, surely. I have goals around each of those items and I water them daily. Turns out those words no longer define what I want to be or who I am. I needed new words. I pondered for a bit and came up with these:

I want to be engaged in meaningful work, inspired to write my book and reach my goals, I want relationships that light me up and excite me (and I’m totally fine if I have fewer close people in my circle; as my girl Meghan says 4 quarters > 100 pennies any day). I want freedom from the things I’ve carried so long (knowing that freedom alone doesn’t always feel free, I need things like gratitude and appreciation for my season in life knowing I can’t rush what’s meant to be). Lastly I want to feel and be loved. I have SO much to offer someone that I literally can’t wait for him to come into my life. ❤

My goal is to embody these qualities, focus my energy on continually refining and improving my life. Oh and to check in again in a few months and see how I can realign myself to these words!



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